My Trip to Markerville

So Friday Amber Versteeg and I drive out to Crayola town, otherwise known as Markerville. Once there, we are greeted by...an empty house! Yep thats right, well okay we knew we would be, but still! Kels went hiking. So anyway They while waiting we sat on the couch and I played my guitar. Amber made up a song about their black fish with the eyes coming out of its head. So fun! So the family gets home, and Kelc puts us to work making a salad, while she goes and gets clean. (she needed too) From there we went to meet people and have a fire.

Sat. Amber and I get the 411 on Markerville. We go to coffee hour. (thats how you get the 411) So we got the tour of the creamery cause we wanted to. ( So Regan, I laughed more during the crayon tour. but it was a good tour. Mrs. Gamble gave it to us, Kelc was working) Kelc leaves with us and she gets changed and stuff. (well Amber did too) We go back and make ice cream. YUMMMYYYY! Then off to Sylvan to see the coffee shop the Gambles own, and have lunch and do a little shopping. Okay Kels and I walked Amber shopped. (it was still fun, Kelc saw this wonderful purse that said. "I'm to pretty to do math!" dont you just love it?) I did not get it though, for fear of not going back to markerville.

After Sylvan, we went and visited Jon Berg out were he worked and invited him over for an evening of Movies and supper. He said yes.

After visiting Jon we told him we would pick him up, we went to the cliffs, Because we drove all the way to the cliffs Kelc and I decided that we should jump them. So we did. YES SO FUN!!! I think we should do it again sometime with a ton of people. Amber has a grand picture of me jumping for those that do not believe I did.

So then we went to Happy hour at Aunt Sandy's (he he it consisted of the Gambles, Us and Aunt Sandy and Uncle Bill) I love happy hour in Markerville.

We then went picked up Jon, watched movies played dutch blitz, dropped Jon off, and went to bed.

Well what can I say about Sunday....... Amber and I went for a ride, wanted to see how many times the car spun, and then went to visit the ditch. We are okay, Amber was a little shocked because yeah, her car, she was driving.

Kelc Amber and I went to church while Mr and Mrs Gamble came to our rescue and were our heros. YEAH FOR THEM!!!! I have to say, I really like the church building, I knew all of the songs (cause the youth did them today) it was grand. We walked in to the Happy song. Yeah thats right, cause we needed to get happy!

After Church the car got fixed and Amber and I made it home!

HEre are some interesting qoutes from the weekend:
" I have never seen a deer out in a field before!....Oh can you stop at the road kill on the way home... I want at picture"

"So, I will send your cheque in the mail for being my kids friend! " (Yes I get paid for befriending a Gamble!)

"Maybe little knomes come out in the middle of the night and rake the gravel"

"How do you like it how do you like it? More MORE MORE" (Jon singing while playing dutch blitz"

(due to a random annoying song that fits with one sylable names) Amber"So the song sounds better if your name has one sylable" (after hearing the song already and saying it was horrible) Jon "How does that work" (and song get sung again!)

Sigh good times good times.

its true

He he he, I am not really stressed out, I just like this picture cause its fun. Anyway, My fingers hurt from playing Sahara, and I need to clean my room, and pack for my weekend getaway, and clean my bathroom, and I got rasberry sauce on my new WHITE pants, and a stain in my favorite shirt that will not come out. But......Life is great and God is good! Yeah yeah yeah!

Praise Adonai, from the rising of the sun, to the end of every day!

So mUch 2 saY!

Hey hey hey. So I have so much to say, but not alot of time. Wow last week was a whirl wind of adventures! It was so much fun watching Mike and Trish get married. I loved it I did I did. There were some down parts but that does not matter. It is amazing how God can just bring two people together. Yippeee!

Hmmm, Because I need sleep this will be short but you know. watering plants for my mom takes over 3 hours. Yep it sure does. Gag. and I am as red as a tomato! Yippee for me.

I want to add a picture cause I never thought I could do that. So lets see what i will add. Oh its my guitar. So nice I loves it. I even named it. For a while I was trying out the name Zoey, my friend Regan suggested it, but then I was like nope I do not like that. I have now named it Sahara. Yep like the desert. I loves it. Anyway enjoy looking at her, I sure do. And I like playing her. Just ask Henry and Laura..

Gone

Im In Ontario, and will tell you all about it when I Get home!

Did I read that Sign Right?

Did I Read That Sign Right?

In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK ####### THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

La la la

So, I have only three more days of work and then off I go! I am starting to get excited for ONtario. Yeah yeah. And the fact that I am having a holiday. Oh yeah. And oh I am going to visit a friends family from Sat. to Sunday. So yeah yeah yeah. I am so excited. Ontario here I come. And then three more days of work. Plus a meeting and Shakespeare in the park. And off I go for the weekend. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh I am looking forward to it. And summer is half over. Sigh! (but in a way that also is a good thing. I want to learn!)

one more week

So I have one more week until I go to Ontario. Meaning one more week till I see my best friend. oh why can't it be today? Sigh today I was not with it and seemed kinda out there spaced and grumpy. I was not grumpy, I just miss Ash so terribly much. I am in one of those, I just want to see you and hug you. I miss her, because a year ago my Oma died, and I need to talk to Ashley. I dont know, I just want to hear her voice and know that she is doing okay. And that everything is alright there. I just can not wait to see her in a week. And then I will be all better. YEah!

Oh and there are days when I think of everyone else too, dont worry.

Because

So, I thought I would post this. It was my last devo for teen club

YOU

I fell, and you picked me up

I cried, and you held me

I sank, and you pulled me up

I drowned and you saved me.

You hold me close when no one is around

You watch my feet so I do not stumble.

You guide my path with light when it’s dark.

You hold my hand when I am alone.

You prevent me from harm.

You water and feed me.

You protect me.

You saved me.

Thank you for being my All in All

My strength, my hope

Thank you for being my God!

Sometimes we think we can do nothing, or we feel like we are falling, and nothing we can do will help. And that’s right, nothing can! The only way that we can do something is if God is there helping us. “Apart from me you can do nothing” John 15:5b Everyday each and every single one of us has so much to do. And everyday we do it. But do we ever sit back and think. “If it weren’t for God, I would not have been able to do this.” Or do we just carry on our day without thinking about it? There are so many things that have happened in each and every single one of our lives, that if it were not for God, we would have had a worse outcome. Someone used this analogy on me before. Sometimes we are holding a rock close to our face, and it looks huge. Almost too big to handle, but then we hold it farther away. And we throw it into the pond. It does not look that big anymore. We can look at it as, by ourselves this rock or problem is huge, but then we cast it away, and lay it down at God’s feet. Then it disappears because God took care of it! Just like Psalm 55:22 says “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you, He will never let the righteous fall”. Isn’t it amazing that God is always going to be there to protect us? He will always be willing and ready to help. He is our strength and our hope.

A verse that I think is really neat is Isaiah 40:30-31. Were it talks about the fact that even us, who are young become tired and weak, and then God is there to give us strength! God will never let us crash and fall to the point were we can not get up again. Because although things might seem impossible by ourselves. Nothing is impossible with God!

Procrastination

Here I am sitting behind my computer again. This seems to happen everyday. And I am on for the same reasons. Teen Club. Yep sure am, but everyday I get distracted by something else. How horrible of me, what kinda leader am I if I can not write a simple Devo. And it has to be done by tomorrow. Meaning I need to get it done. Meaning AHHHHHH! So why am I writing in my blog. Good question. I think cause I can not think of anything to write that is a good devo. It will come to me, it always does.

I can't believe this is the last meeting of the year. I loved it so much. Sometimes as my friends can attest, I disliked doing the work. I think cuase I was so busy already with so much stuff. But once I sat down and did it, it was wonderful. These kids are so smart!

Anyway, things are good I have no complaints. I love life. I love being who I am and having fun. I am even hanging with people I have not hung with for a while. And Love it! YIPPEEE. Although I still miss everyone else. But its not like I am alone! ( I was never alone) Ahh the joys of summer.

But I should get back to writing, I think I got something

hmmm again

I dont know.....

You're Thailand!

Calmer and more staunchly independent than almost all those around you,
you have a long history of rising above adversity. Recent adversity has led to questions
about your sexual promiscuity and the threat of disease, but you still manage to attract a
number of tourists and admirers. And despite any setbacks, you can really cook a good
meal whenever it's called for. Good enough to make people cry.
style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:85%;">Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Hmmmm

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA alyson is singing LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA..loosing her mind LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ALY IS LA LAING>>>> LAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

I felt moved

Isn't it funny when you finish writing something, then all of a sudden you feel moved. Well here it is.

You changed my life
and made me see
how precious someones life can be.
You struggle with life day by day
And you try really hard to be able to say
Everything that you are feeling
and everything that you know.
One day your wisdom will be able to show
Others who you really are.
I wish I could hold you
and make it alright,
I wish I could change you
so you get through the night.
I know that I help you
with all that you do.
I know that I have taught you so much too.
Together we will show them
how smart you can be
Together we will help you
Stand up for people to see!
That you are amazing and so very smart,
that you yourself are a great piece of art!
Alyson Bosch '05

need to feel it

I need to feel the need to write. I am loosing focus, maybe nothing has happened really in my life that I can write on. When I mean write, I don't just mean a story of the day. NO I can do that when ever I want. I like writing storys. But I mean poetry. I need something to move me. someone move me! I could write on not feeling moved. But that would be dumb. Anyway, I am not unhappy just unmotivated. I will have to think of something.

*Giggle*

I have no other ways to discribe this blog but *giggle* Last night Alyson had a life. I know it was wonderful. And for her life she went out with her brother and three wonderful people. (yep your wonderful) The fact that we had more fun and spent less money bowling then those wanting to go and watch Star Wars, makes it even better. Okay so I was over tired, and that means I had no control over myself. (no not that way!) Giggle, I was well, very giggley and on the verge. Nope I was hyper. It was fun. So I will give you a run down on the evening.

So bowling was 10 pin. Oh so much fun, so much better. Anyway the girls (the three wonderful people) do not go 10 pin very often. Not to say I do either, but for this story I do go more often. Anyway, to watch them bowl was very fun, and I laughed alot. As did everyone else. The brother tried wierd things while bowling, and was out to get me. But I WON! The Aly(i)sons won! YIPPEE we rule. And I must say that we established that she and I were joined but were seperated at birht and she got the extra leg height, that is why she is taller. But we are SO alike it is creepy! Everyone there thinks so.

So then after a grand evening of bowling, we went to BPS. The same one were the crayon eating happens. (a whole nother story!) Yep, there the fun continued with colouring and just fun random things. My sides still hurt from the laughter.

Although, I do think that my tiredness made it that I was totally unaware how crazy I was. I realize that wow, I have not been that way for a while. Giggle, but I did not harm any body, and I would not take back what I did. I had to much fun. And I am willing to do it all over again. You game girls???

Over and out.
ps. I rule at 10 pin yeah!

What a wonderful day

Wow, today is so awesome. I got to work this morning thinking I was going to go to the parade with my guy. Well, instead of going to the parade, we were IN the parade. Yeah so much fun. So cool! I loved it!!!!!! (can you tell?) Anyway and the sun is shinning down on me, and the world is wonderful. And I feel like this is turning into the "blessed be your name" song. And I get my guitar next week. And I am burnt. And I just feel alive today! Happiness. Praise God for wonderful days.
Oh and I got to talk to Leah on the phone YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and I got a really nice message from a friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and I think Letters might be coming soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blah

Blah, its raining, and that is suited to my mood!
I have been talking to a couple people on MSN and it makes me miss them. And I have been getting emails and such from everyone. I love that. And I was able to talk to Ashley.

So Why am I blah? I think it is because they are all not here. I hate that. And I am sick. I thought I would be better by today so that I could go to work. But I am still sick. I hate it!

Anyway........ I have not written a poem for a while and my creative juices are not flowing. I hate when that happens. But I know that it will come back.

I am also having a hard time being me sometimes. I hate that things do not come easy. Although I am truly myself with some people, with the people that I have only met like a few months ago.

So one of my friends is pregnant, I am happy for her.

I just want to be held! I miss talking to people about things and praying about it right away. I miss just being held. I miss hugs and encouraging words. I miss hearing "hey babe" or ALLLYYYY!!! or "hello Beutiful!" All of a sudden I feel alone! And I hate it!

In Search of Music

So..... I play piano and I sing. But I need to learn guitar for school! Hence I need a Guitar. And do not know what the best kind of guitar there is. So before I go out there and buy one (second hand) I need opinions. Because if it were only up to me, I would pick it because of the colour. Ahhh!!!! Someone help. I am so excited though! I get to learn Guitar!

JOYS

Well, in the beginning this was not going to be a joys kind of blog entry but I am working with one of the boys I have not worked for in a while on Thursday. so JOYS! Anyway...
You know when you have those days when you just feel blah, like nothing is going your way and you just want to cry? Well I am having one of those days today. I really feel just like crying. I miss people.
I really miss Ashley!!! I know that I will see her soon and that makes me happy. But honestly it is hard without her.

I also miss everyone from school, it is weird that I do not see them everyday. I have only 3 months before I see them all again. And I know I get to see some of them soon. But things have been going on that I just really want to talk to some of them. And I can not. Oh well, life still goes on.

And its funny, but I miss some of the people that live here. Okay I see them, but not very often and that has affected the friendships. OH well time to move on.

On the other hand, I have met some great people that have been coming to our church. They are so much fun and I am so glad that we are becoming good friends. Yippee for them.

Anyway I hope you all are having a wonderful day...... I am thinking of you and praying for you!

Life as it is

Well, I have been out of school for three weeks and am finally starting to miss people. That sounds bad but it is true. I have just been so busy. But yesterday someone was here before they went traveling, and I was not able to see them I was a little sad but that is the way life is. *sigh*

I was watching Phantom last night. (Glorious movie I am so glad I own it) and it is weird I started associating myself with the Phantom. I mean he only wanted to love someone and be loved by someone. Now the way he did it was creepy and weird. (having a live looking statue of Christine in his place) Creepy! But sometimes I just want to love someone but God has a plan and I know I will not be alone forever. Because I could always become the first CanRC nun! YEAH!

Ha!

YES! I act only two years older then I am!

You Are 23 Years Old

23 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

wow

So yesterday was the wedding of my really good friends. I must say the person playing piano was wonderful. (ahhemm ahhemm!) But I can not believe it though another one of my class mates is off and married, and here I am as single as I can be. I know that my life is totally in God's hands, and I just have to leave it there. But sometimes it is just so hard. I mean I have a ton of guy friends, but.....Ahhhh. Sorry just frusterated a little bit. I know I have to be happy with what I have. And do not get me wrong I totally am. But you know when you just feel like something is missing. And you see all of your friends start to get married. Kinda sucks a little bit. Anyway.

So the summer has begun. I am working outside, and at the moment loving it. I mean the outside is wonderful and I love getting dark and all that jazz. But I also can not wait until I am working at my "real" job for the summer. Oh I have so many glorious things planned!

Tonight I get to see some friends from school, and next week I get to see some more. That makes me so happy. I am excited. Oh and I have the most wonderful movie in the world. Phantom belongs to Alyson!!! YES!

Smile even when you are feeling down, because you never know who can fall in love with your smile!

Arrgggg!

I WANT MY MARKS!!!!!!!!!

*have a wonderful day!*

Last One I promise

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #3 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #4 Match: ESFP

The Performer You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others. A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic. You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally. You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic. You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

What's Your Personality Type?

Now I am having fun!

Yeah this is so me!

Your Birthdate: April 9

Your birth on the 9th day of the month adds a tone of idealism and humanitarianism to your nature. You become one who can work easily with people because you are broadminded, tolerant and generous. You are ever sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you are very sympathetic and compassionate. Your feeling run deep and you often find yourself in dramatically charged situations. This 9 energy always tends to give more that it gets.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Hmmmm

Well I got this from Fiona and Laura I do not know.....

Alyson Joyce Bosch's Aliases

Your movie star name: Apples Henry

Your fashion designer name is Alyson Delft

Your socialite name is Alyster Cookie Edmonton

Your fly girl / guy name is A Bos

Your detective name is Koala Parkland Immanuel Christian School

Your barfly name is Cookies Porn Star

Your soap opera name is Joyce Dunvegan Court

Your rock star name is Droppies Airplane

Your star wars name is Alygeo Bosdan

Your punk rock band name is The HAPPY Slime

The Amazing Meganame Generator

What's with the weather

You know you live in Alberta when the weather goes from 21 above to like -1! Brrrrrr! Anyway, so yesterday I did the most wonderful thing ever. It was NOTHING! Oh it was so grand. Today I did the beginning of yard work, and I worked on my piano pieces for the wedding, and tomorrow I get to do some more work outside. Oh I am looking forward to it. I will get good muscles, and maybe I will look better before the summer is over. Then I will be strong and stuff. And then, lol they do not stand a chance! (right!) Well, I can not believe that the summer holidays are here.

I thought that I would totally be missing everyone but I really was not today. And I do not think that I really will. I mean I know I will see most of them when school starts again, and then over the summer. But as much as I hate to say it, I need a break! Yeah I really hated to say it, but I truly to. And I think for the fact that I know I will see everyone again makes it work so much better. One of my friends is coming here before they leave for their adventure, and as much as I want to see them and probably will. Part of me is like, you know I will see them in August, do I really need to see them again. But knowing me I will go and see them, because that is just the way I am. Unless something happens and I do not.

Oh I had a dream last night that I made a CD. I was thinking about going to my cousins so that I could, I might just do that over the summer, but I don't know... Maybe, I was thinking about doing it as a welcome back to school thing for some of my friends, or my family. But I might wait until school starts again and then invite some people to come with me, so that we can do a group CD. Of course I have to clear this all with my Uncle but you know! We will have to see.

Anyway.... for all those reading this that I have not seen in a while, HI! How are you. I am keeping you all in my prayers.

He he

So yesterday was my last exam, and it being english I was looking at my poems. Well I came across a sonnet that I fell in love with. Good stress reliever when you try to say it as a poem reader. Bet you can't with out pulling a face! You will see why when you read it. It is by Helen Chasin. and is called Joy Sonnet in a Random Universe.

Joy Sonnet in a Random Universe

Sometimes I am happy: la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
la la la la tum tum ti tum. La la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
Hey nonnny nonny. La la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la la la. Vo do di o do.
Poo poo pi doo. La la la la la la la la la la.
la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
la la. Wack a doo. La la la la la la la la. Sh-
boom, sh-boom. La la la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
la la. Dum di dum. La la la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la. Tra la la. Tra la la
la la la la la la la la la la. Yeah yeah yeah.

By Helen Chasin

Good byes

"Good bye's the saddest word I'll ever hear"

Wow that sounds really like forever. So today the goodbyes have started. And tomorrow I will havae to say more. But you know what it is okay, I was thinking on the way home that God brought each and every single person in my life for a reason. I look at someone like Ash, and I know she is there for so many reasons. With out her..... ho boy I do not even want to think about it. And then there are people from concordia. I look at each and every single one of my friends there, and there are just different qualities about all of them that I really needed at one point in time. And I am reasured and happy that if it is God's will the friendships that I started this year (or in Ashleys case made even stronger (if its possible)) will be just as strong, or stronger next year. And if they are not, and if the Lord decides that one year was enough for that friendship, then I am okay with it too. But then knowing that, it makes goodbyes sometimes sad. But, even if things are different next year, I know that God will be there and will protect me. Yep, isn't it great how God can do things like that!

So before I finish, if any of my friends are reading this, even those not mentioned above, I thank the Lord for you! You have been my pillars, and are all just amazing people, and I love ya.

Almost finished

So truly I should be studying for my religion exam, and I will shortly. I just thought you would all like to know, I have passed Ear training, Theory is looking good. My voice lessons have a fantastic mark added to them. And the only thing I am still worried about is German. And I have my religion test and english test left. Oh and tomorrow is going to be grand!!! I am excited for my brunch with Scott, and my movie with Michelle and Kel-c. Yippee I am excited. But off I go to be the good little girl I am and study.

All I have left is exams

Wow, this year is over. I can not believe it! I was thinking the other day how much work I had to do in order to get to Concordia, and now that I have finished my first year. AHHH! It is kinda freaky and in a way good. I am one more year closer to having my dream completed.

Yesterday was fun. We had a barbaque at a friends house. It was good to hang out with everyone one last time. But in a way kind of sad. I will not be with every person together anymore. Exams and they are gone. *Sigh* But on the upside, I will not have to say good bye to all of them yet. Some of them I will see this week! YES

You know its funny, this year has been a changing year in so many ways. So many things have happened in my life, so many changes. Some of them have freaked me out, but the majority of them have been really good.

I have also learnt alot from my friends, one of my friends from church was like, now you have found people just like you! It's true I have. And I will miss them so much during the summer.

I have plans with some of my close friends from school over the next week, and am really excited about that. Although I know when I say good bye to them I will probably cry. I mean I know I will see some of them over the summer but well, I will not see all of them and it bums me out. I will not be able to be like, hey I need to talk, and have them there. But I geuss that is what email is for. And I will be busy anyway this summer. (now it seems as if I am making excuses!)

And I know I will see them next year, and we can have fun all over again. YIPPEE!

And so it begins

Well, one acts started today. I am sorry that I was not there for opening night. As I think others were. I really thought the only thing that could be wonderful about the stage would be acting in it. But I have been doing back stage stuff. I love it. I really missed today though. I just wanted to be there. But tomorrow and friday I will have that chance! YIPPEE! Anyway off to sleep because I will not be getting any for the next couple days. Birthday on Sat! YES

My Easter Weekend

Easter weekend is almost over and then we get to go back to school. I can not wait. I know it sounds kinda wierd I was out of school for two days extra and its like I miss it. I do, but mostly I miss the fact that when I am in school everything seems normal, and bad things do not always happen. ( I know that is not true but!) So yeah, tomorrow I have to go to a funeral for one of the first girls I worked for. She was 7 1/2. Sure not my favorite thing to do on a Monday. I wrote a poem that I will add to this blog! I just can not believe that she is gone. It makes me so sad. But I still think I am in shock. I do not know if it has completly registered yet. I am sure that it will tomorrow.

The rest of the week was okay, I got to spend time with my some of my friends from high school and watch the basketball volleyball teams play against our BC rivals Credo! Yeah we won the basketball. Man I miss playing. And then some of us went bowling after and had a hoot. It was good to hang out with them.

And today Ashley and I hung out all evening. It was fantastic. I love that girl so very very much!!!
But anyway here is the poem

She sits beside the window,
Waiting for the day.
She is always very quiet,
Hasn’t got a lot to say.
She waits for the one person.
That will make her feel okay.
She wonders all the while
When she will go to play.
I love that little person,
I believe she is God's gift.
That was brought to me in order
To give her smile a lift.
I pray for her daily
I want to see her through
Her good times and her bad times.
Her laughter and her sad times
I want to see that too.
I love her every action,
She reminds me of God's love
She helps me realize
The power from above.
She is my little angel,
She shines in every way
She makes me smile and thank God
For every single day.
I am thankful for her smiles.
And all the little things,
That together we have shared,
They are more special than a king
She’s showed me how to love some one
With all my heart and soul.
She has taught me that with God’s love
We can shine a loving light
Into this world we know.

By Alyson Bosch ‘02

Please Let Me!

You say you are okay
But I look at you and I know your not
You say you do not need any help
But I feel that you want some.
I am here if you need me
I am here if you want me
I can listen to you cry.
I can be the shoulder to cry on.
I can be the arms to hug.
I can be the one to pray with.
I can hold your hand.
You can not get through this alone
With God we can fight this
With God we can win.
Just take my hand,
And let me in!

Alyson Bosch 2005

Who would have thought

Who would have thought that it is March 22nd and we have an abundance of snow on the ground!
Well I sure didn't and although I think snow is glorious, and I love the fact of white, I think I am starting only to like it from October to Febuary. But truly it is always like this, and we all just get sick of it. But just think when it melts then it will be time to start cutting the grass! Oh Joy! But then I do not have to be so white, and instead I can work on my tan. To bad you can not tan naturally and have snow at the same time. Oh well.

Sick

Gag, I hate being sick, and I hate missing school because I am sick!! Although missing German today was not that bad! But I have been trying to write my english essay. And AHHH!!! Clearly do not write these things when you are sick. They do not go very well. But I am going to hand it in, and then hopefully get a mark. And I missed an important day. I was not able to listen to Rhonda's, Scott's or Beth's speech. Oh well! I will hear them tomorrow at school (cause they were taped) if Scott lets me stay. Not that he can tell me to go home, but knowing me I will go home when Chapel is over. I just want to go to school because I have to do a presentation on Klemtu. And I do not want to let my team down. So I will probably go to that, and then go straight home. Yippee for that. Aggg, sick and the smell of supper is not really doing anything good for my stomach. Gag, Gag, Gag! At least I get to eat soup. Well away I go to finish my really non making sence essay.

Now until Forever

Now Until Forever

Standing on a side walk
Looking left and right
People all around her
So many people are in sight
She knows no faces,
And it’s hard to break a smile.
She sees so many places,
The road goes on for a mile.
She has no friends to help her
No one to hold her hand
She’s all alone in this one,
It’s time to make a plan.
She thinks of many things to help her
So she can go on day by day
There is one thing she just lets pass
A person that will help her along the way
It doesn’t seem to faze her,
That He is always there,
She takes Him for granted,
It seems she doesn’t even care.
But then something happens
And she has to look His way
She prays that He forgive he,
For acting like a child
For taking things for granted
Not thinking while troubles piled.
He looked at her and smiled
And said with Precious care,
“My child I am with you
From now until forever,
My child I will forgive you
Now just take my hand and pray”
From then on she remembered Him
Not only when He was needed.
And whenever she had a problem
She remembered she can always trust in Him,
Now until forever.

Alyson Bosch ‘04

Take Time

TAKE TIME
Though life sometimes seems to fly
As the days rush quickly by
Take the time to stop every day,
Take that time to stop and pray.
To that amazing, wonderful God above
Who is abounding in infinite love
The Lord who will lift you up
During the times that are dark and rough.
Thank Him for the friends He gives
And that there, in their hearts, he Lives.
Take time to recognise God’s great powers
For it is He who makes the smallest flowers.
So no matter how fast the days pass by,
No matter how quickly the time may fly.
Take that time each and every day
To stand in awe, and to pray.
Alyson Bosch 2004

Thank you

So after reading Amber and Tawnies xangas, part of me felt like I have to do this too. there is so much going on right now, and if it were not for these people. AHHHHHH!!!!! So I just want to thank them all, and pray for them.
I pray for Amber: she is being so strong right now, and I know it is because of God's doing
I pray for Scott: I do not know what I would do with out that guy!
I pray for Ashley: She has been the best friend a girl could ask for.
I pray for Andrew: He is going through a hard time, and he needs to see God.
I pray for Tawnie: she is super fun, and I just pray that she is okay.
I pray for Rhonda: She needs alot of strength because of her busy busy life
I pray for Charlotte: She amazes me
I pray for Regan:Her light is shinning so strong for the Lord.
I pray for Kelsey: She is so amazing and full of God's love.
I pray for Matty K: He is just always there when needed.
I pray for Beth: She is such an advocate for Christ.
I pray for Eric: He is so there
I pray for Leah: She is full of compassion and love for others and God.
I pray for Kaylyn: She is just so wonderful.
I pray for Michelle: that she gets the happiness she deserves.
I pray for AmberV: That she recieves what she needs to carry on
I pray for AnitaV: She is shinning, and I pray it stays.
I pray for everyone else: this list could go on for ever, but for all the other friends out there, I pray that you will remain strong in him and in what you believe! Love you all

Escape

There is a place I can go
when I need to escape.
This place is filled with love and kindness
this place is filled with Joy.
There is someone I can talk to
when I need to escape
This someon is full of love and kindness
this someone is filled with Joy.
the place is wherever the Someone is
and the someone is GOD!

Stepping out

Well, I feel completely changed after my mission trip. I loved every minute of it, and I wish that I was back there right now but I know that God has a plan to use me here. I just do not know what that plan is yet. I can not wait for Him to show me.

But that is not why I am stepping out. I am stepping out because I was discovered. I will not go into detail, but lets just say I am doing a complete turn around. It kind of scares me. But with the help of my friends and family, but most important, GOD! I will be able to do it. Just hang on tight cause the ride is not going to be smooth!

Hey

Wow, I have not written in a long time. But that is okay! I have had so many wonderful things happen to me. One of which was my mission trip. Oh how I loved spreading the good news of my Lord and savior to people! OH how I just love my Lord.

School is almost done, I can not believe it. I do not know what I am going to do when it is over. Cry I think. No probably not, but you know it is kinda sad. but I will be back next year so that makes me happy. Anyway I have to go to bed cause I am really tired.

Questioning

I look ahead,
trying to see my future,
are there things out there?
things I want to have happen.
Or is it all going to fall apart?
Am I always going to be the one with the broken heart?
What is going to happen to me?
Why can't I just see.
Am I ever going to be happy?
will I ever understand.
What is in God's plan?

Happy Singles Awareness Day!!!

Well, okay so today is Valentine's Day. Other wise known as Singles awareness day! Yep for all us single people. Sigh.... Sometimes, I just do not know what to do. Pastor Garry said it right in Chapel this morning. That one day God will send us someone, but until that time, and even after that time, we have to remember the best valentine. That God, because he loved us so much gave us his son so that we could live. Isn't that just the best valentines day present ever!!!! I hate how it it so commercial. Do you really need to have a special day to say I love you to people you love? Nope, in fact I love them all and I tell them that everyday. I like that, that is y I do not really like Valentines day though, I mean, cause it is almost as if you have to expect it from your other half if you are going out with them. maybe I am just bitter. YOu never know. Ahh well, tomorrow is another day.

Lent

So here it is, Lent. And now for 40 days I will be to every german class, without complaining about the class. ( I never said anything about the teacher!) and also for 40 days I will be without MSN. Do you think I can do it? I think german is going to be tough but you know it will be better for me. We will see how it goes.
I am also so tired all the time. I figure it is because of all the late nights early mornings, but I think I am alittle stressed too. Mission trip is so soon!!!!! I can hardly wait, but I am getting nervous. really nervous. But you know, that is okay because if I was not nervous, I do not know if I would be ready. Anyway. Now I am off to work cause that is what I have to do. Have a great one!

YIPEEE

So I just recieved the best gift ever!!! My very own hiking bag. I am so happy I could sing. la la la la la la la la la la la la!!!!! It is blue and grey and black. And I am so happy. did I mention I was happy!!!! very very happy! Anway now I want to go and play. See if I can fit everything I need into it for Klemtu! maybe, it depends on if I want to or not. I am just so happy. Oh and I have a Nalgene bottle too, and its pink! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Have a grand one! I think I am going to wear my bag all night. just cause I am crazy!

HOmework

So calling all those who want to do my homework for me. I have to write an essay in english class. The poems I have to right about are relationship poems. Ones envolving breakups. And I have to compare them. How am I going to do this. Ahhhh. I could write a poem on the lack of boyfriends, and heartaches and breakups, but to compare poems. And at this time, it is just depressing. Utterly depressing!

I want to be able to do really good in this class. I want to kick butt because I love english! But how can I do it. I want to add one of my poems to the end of it. Just because I think that would be fun. And I want to know what my teacher thought of my presentation... I wonder if she would tell me if I emailed her. Hmmmm. Maybe I would do that and then ask her about the poems at the same time. Or maybe i can go there tomorrow, with part of my essay and get her to look at it. Yeah maybe I will do that. and then ask about my presentation, because I think I did good, but I do not know.

Sometimes I hate school. Sometimes I feel so dumb and I do not know what I am going to do. But I talked to Ashley today and she was like Alyson what is your dream. what do you want to do. So here I am working my butt off, because Ashley is right, Like most of the time. I love her for it too.

And then there are the other reasons......AMBER!!! I do not know what I would do without her. She makes me so happy sometimes. And Rhonda and Scott, to be able to say, I need to pray guys, and have them totally drop everything to do that. YIPPEEE! I love all of my friends.

And regardless of how I hate school, I still have to have fun, and I still thank God that I am in school. Because I am still learning so much, school wise, spiritual wise, and friend wise.

Standing in the open

So here I am, standing in the open.
I just want to say that I feel so much better having everything out and in the open. I am also so excited about my mission trip. I can not wait to go. OUr team is amazing. They are hard working and all excited to go! I can not wait. I can not wait to see how God is going to work in our lives. And how He is going to use us on our trip. I just pray that He guides us and that everything we do, is to the Glory and honour of Him.

Praise and worship went really well today. THe girls did a really good job with the drime, and the rest of the worship was really well done.

I am so glad I have such great friends. Sometimes though I wish that Ashley came to my school because it would make things so much more perfect. I would love it. But alas she goes to the university, and not concordia. Oh I love that girl. She can not be replaced. I love my friends at school, but nothing compares.

I am so happy that I am at this school. I am learning alot and I have some very strong friendships. I was telling one of my friends that no matter how we look at it, we will always be part of each others lives and no matter what we will always remember eachother. Isn't that grand! I like that alot.

I thank God so much for giving me so many blessings.

Free

I smile
I laugh
I am finally free!
I giggle
I cry
I am finally free!
Free of worry
free of pain
free of the unknown
I sing
I pray
I am finally free!
You hear it
I AM FREE!!!!!

You

You look at me,
and I try to read your eyes.
You wrap your arms around me,
and I try to hear your heart.
You smile at me,
and I can't help but smile back.
You Talk to me
and your words, they encourage.
You mean so much to me
and I want to find the words to tell you.
But
You are tearing me up inside,
and your bringing me to tears
You do not realize it,
and its causing me to fear.
I do not know what I am going to tell you
I want to know what to say
My heart is saying one thing,
and my mind is going the other way.
I know I have to follow what I believe in.
I know this is where I will stay.
But you mean so much to me.
I don't want it to go away.

Alyson Bosch 05

Want to tell me

Well I am bored, so I figure I am going to do something. Here is the deal, I have made up 5 questions. Ones that you can fill out about me at your own desire. Why cause its fun and I want to see if what you know about me and what YOU think of me (hopefully it is good!), and just fun things like that. Maybe after a little bit I will give you the answers to the questions..... But only if you are lucky. Bwah ha ha ha ha.

1. If I were to be one place at school, where would it be and why?

2. If you were to describe me in 1 sentence how would you?

3. What is one of the most important things in my life?

4. If you were to take me somewhere, where would it be and why?

5. Why do I hang out with you? ( there must be a reason!)

See that is not that hard hey. Have fun!!!!

???

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

And she must rinse this all away
She can't hold him this way
She must rinse this all away
She can't love him this way

Vanessa Carlton Rinse

So I was listening to this song in the car on the way home, and I was like wow this is how I feel. Because I have to rinse it way. I have to say goodbye, but sometimes it is so hard. I just wish I could just get the answers from God right now. Be like, why am I going through this? What is the point of it? Are you still testing me? Is there a reason I still feel the way I do? I pray everyday that He helps me through this. I do not want to be weak and say, yes when I know I cannot. When I know I should not. AHH!!!! LIFE, Can I be 5 again???

In other news, its good to be back at school, and Amber and I have made it work so we see eachother at least a couple times a day. for a little bit. Got to love working it out.

Back Again

I walk through the doors,
everything seems so familiar.
The bussle,
the business,
the running around.
The halls look the same
the rooms are just as we left them.
Things needing to get done,
going up to the dorms.
Hanging out.
I am back,
Back where I belong,
back to learning, and fun
I'm back in school!

Well, okay I am back in school on monday, but I was there today and I saw Mattyk and Neal. I really jumped them. It was grand. And for all those wondering after giving them both a few hugs I was normal. Although I did Short sheet Matty's roommates bed(that being Scotts!). BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! ( no one tell him k!) And I was normal I was able to carry on a normal convo with Matty as he unpacked. it was grand. BUt I see them all tomorrow again. YIPPEEE!

Falling Rain

The Rain falls all around me,
and yet I can not feel it.
I am free.
Puddles are at my feet,
but I am not getting wet
I am free.
People are running around me,
getting out of the rain,
but I stand still
I am free.
The air smells fresh,
Chrisp and clean.
I am free.
Free of the worry,
free of the pain,
Free of the unknown.
Because the falling rain has washed it away
and I am free.

The count is on!

Some would call me crazy, others are just going to laugh. But I want to go back to school. I am counting the days, there are 6 left. Sigh, I think I have turned into a Keener! Either that or I am just anxious to see my friends again, but I see most of them in 3 days! I know, I know I am in need of a life.

Two of my favorite people from school came over yesterday. It was wonderful! I missed them lots, and it was just great to see them again and to hug them. I Do not know what I am going to be like on Friday. Maybe I will play it calm, cool and collected. YEAH RIGHT! I will be excited. But you know what that is okay, because I am aloud to do that. Just as long as I am a good excited and not a scary excited. Well they can always dunk me in the pool if I get over heated. Tee hee.

And then on Monday I start classes again. YOu know whats funny. I started to read some of my text books. Probably because I was bored, and I had nothing better to do. Ahh well that is okay. As long as I keep it up during the year. I counted, I have 7 classes but I am dropping one on Thursday so I will only have 6. AHHH what am I going to do. That is kinda scary, and I have no time. But you know I did it last term so I will do it again this term. And I will do it well.

I will strive to be the best that I can be in this new year. I will get better grades, and I will maintain a positive attitude. And I will continue to be me!

Friends

So, today I got a phone call from the Gambles. It was wonderful, I miss them and I thought I would see Kels on Friday for swimming but now they decided they are coming in on Sat. morning. Now I will not be able to see Kels at all until maybe sunday when she might come to my church!!! Yippee! And maybe Scott can come too, and I will tell Rhonda cause I know she wanted to.

Tomorrow I see Andrew and Amber! I was supposed to work, but they phoned saying it will be to cold. So I don't have to do that either. That makes me happy!

But anyway, my New years was really good. In the beginning I was not sure how good it would be, cause things just seemed alittle wierd. But after they got better. I like the fact that we opened the new year with Bible reading and prayer. It is Wonderful to remember who actually gave us this year. And then we went and crashed the adult party to say happy new year to them. It was fun. Then Ashley and I went in her van and prayed. It was probably the best part of the evening. Being able to pray with Ashley. It is a memory that will stick in my head! I love her so much. And I thank God for her everyday. Except now the tables are turned because instead of her worrying about me, ( I have almost resolved that issue, it just has to be put to the test when school starts.) I am now worrying about her. I pray for her, and I pray that things will turn out for the best. And what ever happens is the Lords doing. And I just want to always be there for her, to hold her when she needs to cry. To be with her when she needs me. And just to be that ear. I hate when she is upset, and I want to make it better, but I do not know how this time. Ashley I love you.

Arissa is another one on my mind. Vern is leaving for Bible college next week, and she is staying here. She is having a hard time because most of her boyfriends have lived far away.
And the fact that we never talk anymore. It kinda makes me sad. I was there for Christmas, but she was only there for 10 minutes. I guess that is what happens when you have a boyfriend. And really I can see them getting married. But that is okay because I really like Vern. He is fun to talk to and easy to get along with. So I am okay if she marries this one. (not like I would have a say! besides no to being in her wedding but like that would happen!) But She is always on my mind too.

It is so great to have friends and at this time, I would like to thank the Lord for blessing me with a large array of friendships.

Another Year

Wow, another year is over, and now a new one is beginning. I am starting it off right by going to see Phantom on Thursday and then on Friday after work, I am going swimming and sleeping at Rhondas. And then school starts again. Oh great joys!

It is funny, but I want to go back to school now. Not just to see the friends, but to learn. It is wonderful.

Today I had a pot luck at church that was fun. I was able to talk to my friends for a while, about some serious stuff. It was good. I also got to play with my princess. (My self adopted baby. actually belonging to a friend of mine!) It was wonderful. Except for the fact that everyone was like, that looks good on you Alyson. Yeah okay well find me a guy so that I can get married, so that it can happen! Ah well, I have to finish school first and then off to B.C. I go! Then maybe once I am there. But who knows the Lord willing one day it will come. Either way it is okay with me at this moment. Maybe when Tom and Mir get Married in May I will be a little sad, but other then that, Meh, life does go on!

New Year Resolutions

Every year people make promises for the new year. Things like, "I will get into shape" or "I will not spend as much money" or even "I will change everything I do not like about my self!" And all though some of those things maybe good to do, how many times do we keep them? Sure we do for a while, maybe make it past the month of January but after that, who knows?

I want to share something with you;

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again rejoice!
Let your gentleness be evident to all. the Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by
prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will gaurd
your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally. Brothers, Whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -
think about such things. What ever you have learned or recieved,
or heard from me, or seen in me - put it to practice, And the God of peace
will be with you.
Philippians 4:4-9

This is one of my favorite texts from the bible. My favorite verse is verse 4. Rejoice in the Lord Always I will say it again Rejoice! I remember it the most on New years, because when people are making resolutions it reminds me that no matter what happens in the New year, whether good or bad, I have to rejoice in the Lord. And what a wonderful thing that is to do. To REJOICE. Rejoice in him that I am alive, that I am going to school, that I have friends.
I look back on this year and I try to think of if I rejoiced enough. And I think to my self you can never rejoice enough. So If I were to make a resolution it would not be to change the way I look, or the way I act. It would be to make sure I rejoice about everything, and I never forget who created me, who molded and shaped me to be in his image. And to Rejoice in Him ALWAYS!

This is fun

I stole this from Passionately Inept so that I could have a little fun with it too! Bwah ha ha.

1. Reply to this post, because I would like to say a couple words about you.
2. I will also tell you what song(s) remind me of you when I hear it.
3. I will also tell you what celebrity/public [or anime/manga] person you remind me of, either personality-wise or looks-wise.
4. I will also give ONE WORD that I associate with you when I think of you.
5. We all could use a boost now and then, so steal this for your journal and make someone else's day as well.

The Day before Christmas

Twas the day before Christmas and all through the house, Alyson was hurrying faster then a mouse. She had to make the place look spotless and clean. Cause her parents were coming home, and if it was messy they would scream. And Alyson wanted them to have the best day, so she got rid of the garbage, and she would have to say, "It's spotless it's clean, there is not a thing on the floor. Now all I have to do is put a welcome home! on the door" .

Yester of Days, Alyson called her friends, and they talked for hours about nothing on end. It was a wonderful thing, just to sit back and laugh. To not think about anything just to have a gas. They make her smile, even though they live farther then a quarter of a mile!
She misses her friends, but she can hold fast. Because in January they are going to have a BLAST!

Thank you thank you, I hope you enjoyed the blog. I take money for mission trip!
Have a Merry Christmas!!!!

I can not wait

I get to see Rhonda tomorrow! And then on Friday I get to see my parents. I am so excited!!!!! And then in early january I get to see Amber and Andrew. And I hope to see Tawnie. Oh the joys of having friends come to visit. And Ashley comes home on the 31st! YES

I miss people

Just wanted to say that I miss people! I miss Ashley so bad. And I also miss Amber something horrible. AHHH! I can not wait till I can see them. I did alot of thinking, and thanks Deb for your words of encouragment. I know that I will not leave school. And the friends that I have made I am going to treasure forever. it would be the worst thing if I did not. If all of a sudden I did not talk to any of them. Or was distant. That is not me either. I just have to be more careful of what I do. I mean if all of a sudden I stopped talking to lets say Amber well she would kill me, and I would really not be a happy person. She is an amazing person and a big part of my life. Really she is like the Ashley of College. ( that is a good thing Amber!) Although no one could replace Ashley. I love her tons! Don't worry guys I love you too! Well I am glad that I thought alot yesterday, I feel better about alot of things. Have a good one.

What Road

You know that poem by Robert Frost that talks about the road less traveled by? Well I was thinking, what road am I traveling by. I have done alot of thinking the past couple days and I have relized I am hidding myself. I might not have thought I was, but I really am. I am trying to be loved by to many people, and I am getting myself into trouble.
I am trying to please everyone. And yet, I know that the people I care for the most, are worried about me and are scared for me. Someone told me today, that really there are still wolves in sheeps clothing. And you know what, how hard it is to admit it, I can see it. I can see that I am leading myself into a lot of trouble, I am leading myself down the path that is walked on all the time. I am not saying that I have to not talk to some people. I am just saying I have to be more careful with what I do.
This holiday is going to be good for me. I am going to need it, just to get away from the people I see everyday. And when mom and dad come home, that will be better to. I also know that I am getting upset with what people are telling me, but when I stop to think, they do have a point. I am not holding myself in the way that I should. I am to the point where I am scaring myself. What is right and what is wrong. Sometimes the wrong things sound right. And they are so much easier. But isn't that the way that it is supposed to be. No body said that the road less traveled would be an easy one. And there would be times when you would want to leave, and when people want to make you leave. This seems like one of those times. The thing is I love the people I have connected with, and I do not want to ruin any of those friendships, but I am scared, I am questioning myself and whether I am doing the right thing.
Maybe I need to get out. Maybe I need to start looking for a job, and not go back to school next year. Maybe I need to distance myself. Maybe I need to stop and think about everything I want to do.
Do I go in Febuary? I know that I want to and I have already said I would. But should I go? is it safe for me? I am so filled with doubts and worries. And at the same time, I am excited. There is also the fact that I sometimes feel I am closer to the people I go to school with. But I have friends from church that hang out with other people and they are fine.
Am I just getting myself into trouble, digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole. I think I need to be more careful from now on with what I do. The new year is going to be a little different. I think I need to start over. And remember at all times who I am and where I came from. I can not forget that, no matter how someone may make me feel, or how much fun people are having. I need to be able to be myself. The really Alyson that is not trying to please anyone. The one who was raised with what she believes, and Believes what she was taught whole heartedly. I need to stand firm and not bend for anyone or anything. Because I do not want to put my faith at risk. I do not want to build my house on the sand. I want to stand on that rock and not move! I want to be free.

Wanting to Write

Can you understand me?
Do I make any sence?
Am I what you thought I would be?
Or do I need to change?
What do you want me to do?
Do you want me to be someone I am not?
Just for the sake of pleasing you!
Why can't you see me for me?
Why do I need to have a mask on?
Why do I need to be different?
I like who I am inside!
Why can't you just see that?
I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE!

Rock for life

Yesterday I went to something called Rock for Life. It was amazing! I went with Scott, Lewis and Brieanne. I was just so empowered by it. It was good to witness and to pray for the babies that were being killed across the street. And for the mothers inside. It was really sad. There were a few times when I was about to cry, and then when I almost felt like falling, cause I was so sad, But I knew that God was there with me and everyone else as we made a stand. It was not like we were yelling at people that were going in. we were just standing across the street praying for them. It must be really hard to go there and do that. It sends Shivers of sadness down my spine. I know that those children will be with their maker again, and really that is the most amazing place to be. But it is so sad. So very sad.

The visit
She walks into a room
Why it seems so sad she knows.
It was not her fault
She didn’t have a choice.
There is no other way out.
“I’m sorry mom for failing you,
I’m sorry for the hurt.
I’m sorry dad for not telling you,
I have to let it go.”
She sits there waiting
The tears roll down her face.
“I’m sorry baby for hurting you,
But there is no other way.”
She lies there on the bed
Waiting to be done.
It will not hurt at all
At least that’s what he said.
All of a sudden it’s over
She feels all alone
She hears her baby crying,
And she lets out a moan.
“It’s okay my darling
God has you in His hands.
I am okay my darling,
I promise that I am.
She sits there on that bed
For another minute more.
When she is at home,
She sees a little toy.
And thinks
“That could have been for my little girl or boy”


Alyson 2003

Better today

Well, trying to write exams when you are still kinda out of it, is not the way to go. I am better today though. There were times today when I was kinda weepy, and when I was just like Ho boy, I am so shocked. And then when I saw someone go sliding this afternoon, AHHHH!!!! But I am okay. I am going to go to bed though and sleep. But I wanted to put something on here that my friend sent me. I did not write it, but I think it is amazing. Thank you Amber for sending it to me! It is being printed off and it is going on my wall. So here it is.

MOMENTS IN LIFE
There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

A Little Shaken Up

Okay, so here I am and I just got back from the cop shop. Well, today was an interesting one. I had fun with Regan, Scott, Kel-C, and Charlotte today.

And then I started to go home. Well now, Alyson got herself into a little accident. Okay so I am okay, and the other guy is okay, but I found out he is claming like $3000 on his car. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Anyway the guy was a prick, but what ever. I am okay now, I am still kinda shaking, it is wierd, I want to cry and laugh at the same time. Laugh cause I am okay, but cry cause I was BLOODY scared.

And I am so cold so very cold. And I have to go out and drive tomorrow. (Henry said it is the best if I do that!) But shiver, I do not know if I can do that. I hope it does not snow tomorrow.

But I phoned Amber and talked to her and Andrew, and asked if they could tell Scott and pray for me. Just cause I am like so ahh right now. And then I remembered about accidents and just resently, and what Amber and Andrew had to go with. And it is running in my head. Is that something that I really needed to tell them cause I am okay. But I will see them tomorrow. I love you guys!!!

Under cover

Well, I must say for being really really sad today, I did well. But I really miss Opa, I mean it is really hard, I can not talk to him about anything, and really he is not there to remind me I am beautiful and that God loves me and that there is a special someone waiting for me. You know I believe it, but sometimes it is really hard not to have Opa tell me that. I had a picture of him today walking down the hall with me at his arm, waving his cane in the other hand telling everyone I was his princess.
Yeah. But today I did not cry at school. Nope I hid it really well, but I am sure some of my friends could tell that I was a little off. So I did not cry at school, but at Kramers. Well! I was fine until we read the christmas story, and we sang Silent Night. That was Opa's favorite Christmas song (in English!) And really I would always sing it for him. And he would join in with this most amazing voice. It always sent shivers down my spine. And after that we would always sing Ere Zigt God. A really beautiful Dutch song. I wanted to sing it tonight, but no one else knows it, so I couldn't cause I know I would have broke down. But alas, I started to cry, but I was with a friend, who just held me.
Sometimes I feel these days that I am just crying ALL THE TIME! And Alyson is the big baby. That is what I told him, but he just told me it was okay. Friends like that rock. But it was funny, cause I really wanted Ashley and my brother. Although I was okay with who I was with, Dont get me wrong. I love them to peices, and I would not change them for the world.

YIPPEE

This is going to be really short, and all though I almost did not, I did something that I am so proud of, because it was SO hard! Ready for it

I PASSED EAR TRAINING!!!!!!!!

Can you tell that I am happy. Anyway now to pass the rest of my tests.

Listening to a song.

Do you ever have it when you are listening to a song, and it totally speaks to you. Well I was listening to Avolons song Everything to Me and the lyrics just popped out. Especially the Chorus. So here they are:

Everything to me,
He's more than a story,
more than words on a page, of history,
He is the air that I breath,
the water I thirst for,
and the ground beneath my feet,
Oh, He's everything,
everything to me.

And I am reading this and I am like, hello this is the way that it should be. Having God as my everything. That He is not just there, but He is around me, in my heart, that he is the first thing that I think about. He is everything to me. I was saying to a friend last night, that although my day was so horrible, I could not imagine what it would be if I did not have God. It would have been alot worse. Because then no one would have prayed with me. and I would not have been able to feel better after that. So it just proves that God has to be everything. The big bases on how I live my life.

I Need him these days, because I to have to be strong for my friends. We are all going through a stressful time, and if I am stressed I will not be able to help them. Either by encoraging them or even praying with them. Although praying helps when I am stressed to.

I think I just have to keep praying cause God will be there to hold me up and never let me fall. He is everything to me.

Worst day in the history of man!

Well folks this settles it, today was the worst day in the history of my life! Although like any other day there were some good points to it. Anyway it started with singing lessons when I just could not sing the song. and then I could not do music class, and then I could not do ear training! (but that is over!) and I failed a german test. JOYS!!!! and I keep spilling on myself! Yeah, but anyway enough bad things. I did want to say that I have amazing friends that helped me through today. Thank you you know who you are! Oh and I taught Scott the bag game, when you stick your hand in and then pull something out, it becomes yours. I pulled out his hand. Enough said. and I got to cuddle.( well sleep on his shoulder!) And I ask, y cant more guys be like him and Andrew? Amber babe, your lucky! But anyway, I have had enough, so I am going to crawl in a blanket and sleep for an hour before monday night kids.

Alyson is moving on

Well this is exciting news. So I was in the car with two of my older distingushed married friends today. And I found out that His brother has become recently single. And this guy is like so fun. Although he is really shy, but I figure that is okay. And the thing is, I am really the only person he has talked to in our church. No one else has even tried. ( which I find is really dumb but hey!) And we get along well. And the fact that I get along with his brother and sister in law. Yippee. And the sister in law suggested to set us up! Yeah that would be fine with me! He is from my Church so that is a big thing, and then he is a hard worker, and he is friendly, but he is really shy. But hey we can work on that! So that is exciting!


ps. Too my two lovely girls A and T, I think you both are beautiful! And happy things will come!

Computer room fun

so anyway I am in the computer room minding my own business and people start to make me laugh. And then they make fun of me. Some times I really like school. Although they were telling me that I am always laughing. Is that a good thing. Maybe I need to show my serious side because then people will actually know that I am serious sometimes. and that would be wonderful because then they would be able to see both sides of me. But hey if they like my crazy side. then they will have my crazy side!!!!!!!!! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha. Now I think I have to go to German cause that is what I have to to do. Keep laughing in the computer room it makes it fun.

Frusterated

Well Natasha's Capstone went really well! She was great and so was everyone else. And people really liked it. Anyway I am a little grumpy at the moment. I am having a party at my house on Saturday and I told all of my friends about it. And someone Not saying names but its a boy! Said he was going to be there! for like 3 weeks he said he would be there. And is he coming. NO! I think I understand why I mean everyone has to go and see their parents sometime. But ARRRGGG! It kinda frustrated me cause he said he was coming. I know I should not make this big of a deal about this as I am. Maybe it is because of my lack of sleep, but it really upset me. and to just say, Oh I am not coming I am going home instead. Instead of doing it a little nicer like, "hey I really wish I Could come, but I miss my family and this weekend is the best one for me to go and see them. I hope you do not care." That would have been a little nicer. Anyway now that I am done raving. ( ps. if you read this man, Oh well!) I think I just have to be like what ever, and be happy that my other good friends are going to be there.

Seussical is OVER!

Who would have thought that I am happy that seussical is over. I mean it was great, the cast did a really good job, and for the most part were alot of fun. And the make up people. Whoot whoot Amber Regean and Jo! But I have had enough. my feet are sore and I have no voice. I guess that is what comes with the territory of my job. Gopher. he he! But I loved it and I am not complaining. Although when people ask what I am doin there so early and I do not need to be. And yet they do not realize that yes I do need to be there. Okay so there are times were I was just sitting or doing nothing. BUt if someone needed me I was there. And so there, anyone who thought different can shove it! that is what I have to say. And the play its self was amazing. I mean they were great! I just have seuss songs coming out of my ying yang. (as I sure the rest of the cast does too!) But hey they deserve all the credit they can get. The cast party was fun. I enjoyed my self for the most part. Although there was a time when it was serious. But hey *Hugs*! ( you know who you are! Anyway, now that it is over I can go back to doin normal things like school. But let me say this. I am proud of everyone!!!!!!!! You are amazing in my books!

just wrote this

thought I would share a poem that really does not rhyme so is it a poem? you figure it out!

What Would

What would it feel like if you hand held mine?

What would it sound like if you said "I love you"?

What would it be like if your lips grazed mine?

What would it feel like if you held me in your embrace?

What would it sound like if you whispered in my ear?

What would it be like if you were always near?

What would it be like is all I ever wonder,

What would it sound like is what I want to know,

What would it feel like is what I am trying to figure out,

Do you want to help me?

Anyway enjoy!

More to say

Today was just an eventful day. Although this entry is more about yesterday then anything else.

So yesterday I was at Young peoples. ( a society for my church group!) and we had a huge discussion on dating outside of the church. What suprised me is the number of people that said it was okay if they were dating a christian. It kinda shocked me I think because I know how hard it is not to, but yet it is so much easier if you don't. You know what I am trying to say. Anyway and then my friend pulls me aside after. ( cause I was the one that brought it up) And asks if I was okay, and that he will be there if I need him. Well, how did he know that I was having troubles. I did not tell him. Anyway it was all confusing. But I know the truth and really I will stick to it. I am putting God first. But I told My friend something and then when I was home I put it to words.

so here it is.

Can you come here and tell them
can you come and show them
that I am a person of honour,
that I am a person to love.
I am not just some individual.
But someone so special,
so true
so real.
That it does not matter what I look like
what I say
what I wear.
It does not matter how I act
just as long as I care.
Can you come over here and tell them,
can you come and show them,
that I am easy to love.

So there it is, I wish that there were more guys like my fruit (see earlier entries) I mean he likes me for who I am. And not for someone I could be ARRRGGG!!! sometimes!
Boys we must throw Rocks at them because they are dumme!

Legacy

I was sitting on the bus listening to my discman, and a song came on. I really love the lyrics to the chorus so here they are.

"I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy"
Legacy by Nichole Nordman

I love it, And it totally got me thinking, what are people going to say when I die. ( I am not do not worry, although my cough makes it sound like I am) How will people remember me. Was I the Christian that I always said I was. That kind of thing. I do not know Something to think about I guess.

So anyway, I get this email when I get home. And I am sure most of you have heard, but I was supposed to sing at this opening ceromonies thing next week thursday, WELL anyway so this chick emails me today, and says yeah I talked to my boss, and she had found someone else too, and well her pickings rule! So sorry I will call you if we need you for something else. AGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( if I swore I would do it right here!) I was so mad, heck I am mad. I mean I was telling all my friends, and now I have to go to them and say, hey guess what I am not singing anymore. Yeah uh huh. This sounds stupid but I want to crawl up into a ball and bawl. ( he he) But you know what. there will be other oppertunities, and if there are not. THen hey life goes on.

My Best Friend

Well, I took my best friend to Concordia basketball games yesterday, and she was also able to meet my friends from school. I think she liked them. She called them Crazy, but really they are so there is no denying that! Anyway I just wanted to dedicate this post to her. I love her so much. We have been through thick and thin together. And we both know that you can not break us. No matter how hard some may try.

She knows me so well, so very well! she sees right through me sometimes. I can hide nothing from her. But that is good I think. Someone that knows me that well. I think sometimes she knows me better then me. Especially me at the moment. I know I am denial, about alot of things, but she knows my feelings, and my attitude and she is worried about me. ( don't worry sweetie, I will not let you down!)

I just have to say that she is my hero. I mean she has been through alot, with and without me. And she is sticking to things even if she does not want to. She is beautiful! (Inside and out!) and she is my pillar!

She asked me what I would do with out her, and I told her, I would do nothing because I will never be with out you. She is everywere I am. ( no not in person!) And then I said if she was not there I would die! I really do not know what I would do!

That is why I have to say, Girl I love YOU!
(ahh that rhymes!)

Things happen.

So I am at work for my dad right now. I am supposed to be writing an essay, but you know how it is when all of sudden you can not write about anything. I hate when that happens. I mean I have alot of things to say, but really I can not write them down on paper at all. I hate it.

Sometimes I want to be with my friends twenty four seven. It scares me when things happen and I can not be with them. I hate it lots. Especially when they are having a hard time with something.

I am glad I was on line and then I could talk to this friend for an like an hour on the phone. I think it helped them a little bit. I am not good at advice though, and my approach is to make people laugh when they are feeling down, and to listen. Hopefully I did both of that. I mean my friend is a great person and I hate it when they are hurting. I hope everything works out for them, I just have to keep praying. And being there to hold them up if they need me too. Sometimes I do not mind doing that. I hate it when peoples are unhappy. Its times like this when all I need to do is be there, and to throw all of my worries out the window. I mean I know that sometimes I need to talk, but when they need it, I will try to stop.

Thats another thing I worry about all the time, I mean I try really hard not to do it, but sometimes I feel like all I can talk about is me. Me me me. And I know it is a pet peeve when other people do it, but then I do something I hate. I wish that sometimes someone would just say, "Alyson Shut up! I need you to listen to me right now." Then I so would do it. I mean it is not that bad. I would listen. I just need some help I think with that. It drives me up the wall.

Or when I am being silly. It is like at school people like it, they do not think anything of it. I hope! BUt as soon as I get to friends from home, it is almost like I have to be a totally different person. Except with Ashley and Debra. and Tyson and Sue, but everyone else. IT is like a bad thing if I am a little crazy. Hello it is me. Sometimes I can be quiet sometimes I can be "normal" but what is normal for me. I mean do I really have to pretend. I know that sometimes I am pretending whenI am being silly, but that is cause I do not want to face the facts. But most of the time I do not even do that. It is a stress reliever. And we all know i need that sometimes. Anyway why can't I just be me! I ask this. Does me bother you!

Stuck

Okay I just finished reading some of my friends poems and they are amazing. I wish that I could write like them. i mean they have such depth and stuff. I can't do that.

Anyway, Sometimes I just want to crawl in a hole and escape. There are so many things going on with my life, that I just want to leave. School is getting hard ( not in the work way, I can handle that) but in every other way. I am starting to second guess myself. Starting to ask if this is the way I want to go, if this is really what I want to do. I know my friends have told me that I am not a quiter and that I would never quit. But sometimes I just feel like I should. Sometimes I feel like I should just give up. Go out with my Rehab and that is all. My parents do not think that I will make it all three years, and in a way I want to prove them wrong. But once again, they are probably right. I hate that when it happens.

And then there is this boy. You would think that it is not very ovious, but this is me we are talking about, and I have never been very secretive. It has even come to the point that the feelings I had for another person are gone.(yes trust me, sunday when I saw this "other guy" there was NOTHING there!) But the thing is I can not have this guy from school. Okay so I think maybe he is right for me, we are both crazy. But he does not go to my church. He is my forbidden fruit. But it is not just that. I have seen both sides to him, and well I do not know if I can handle that. Although I am like that too. Ahh I hate it. Why can't this be any easier.

Oh and the fact that like a hundred girls in my school like him too. And yeah it is like a vicious circle. I do not get jealous when he is talking to other girls, Probably because I know that I can not have him anyway, but others do. And then they do not talk to you cause you talk to him. Or sit by him in Chapel or something. My guy friends always said, when it comes to a crush girls are vicious. And I have to agree. I just can not help it, he is so darn cute, and our personalities are so alike. Although I am really ovious and I know he knows, but I do not want to say anything because that would make it worse. I just want to pretend that it is not there. Maybe I should just avoid him for the next couple days. Although that is no good either. AHHH!!! See what I mean I just want to crawl in that hole right now.

I am always there, But that is cause we have the same friends, we hang out together. But I just need to stop, rewind, and think about what I am doing. I mean, if it was ment to be, and if this is who God wants me to spend the rest of my life with, then things will work out. If it isn't then I just have to realize that and carry on my merry way. SO why is it so Bloody hard! AHHHH! I think I am going to find that hole now!

Wrote some more.

I wrote a few more poems and figured I would stick them on here. So heres they are.

Forbidden Fruit.

My heart stops when I look at you,
And I wonder: do you look at me too?
My mouth goes dry,
I’m in the sky,
Every time I speak to you.
My heart is weak,
When with my eyes I seek,
The power of your love.
I try to stop,
I try to run,
I try not to let my feelings drown in the sun.
But as I look in your face,
I feel like I am lost in this place.
But as I think of what could be done,
I realize while my heart weighs a ton,
You are the Forbidden Fruit.
Alyson ‘04

There is a River

There is a river that we are faced with every day
It flows in front of us, it does not go away.
The water is murky, and makes us sad
So sad, that sometimes our feelings turn to mad.
When we look in that river, oh so grey,
We are silent, not knowing what to say.
But as we think of this river, and how it flows,
We remember that there is a God who knows.
He knows why the water is murky and dark,
Why in our hearts it has made a mark.
He knows of our sorrows, our grief and our pain
He knows of our hurts, our failure to gain.
As we lift our hearts to him and Pray
His hand takes the murky water away.
And right before you,
Is a river you never have to fear,
Because it is no longer murky
But instead Crystal Clear.


Alyson '04

Enjoy them. Have a great day.

Sometimes it sucks!

I just want to say, that sometimes it sucks. Let me explain! Have you ever had it that there would be this person that you liked. And you could not have them? I mean not cause they were going out with anyone but because you could not have them. Okay maybe I should explain. I will not date someone who is not from my church federation. If they are not Canadian Reformed, or any sister church we have, I will not date them. I have already gotten into some serious discussions over this with class mates, but I know that it does not work. I did it once, and I was comprimising my faith. That is not something I want to do at all, because then I do not have a faith. Well, There is this person. And I really like him. But alas he does not go to my church. He does go to church which is a bonus. But not mine. So I am stuck. And because of human nature, I can not stop it. AHH so hence, it sometimes sucks! So here I am, trying to control my emotions and yet I still like him. What do I do? Maybe I sould just stop talking to him, and then I will be mean, and then he will not talk to me and then it is fixed, but I will be sad, because of the no talky. Sigh. Sometimes life is hard, but I have to bite the bullet and carry on. THe best thing I can do is pray. And Rely on God to help me solve my problem.

Old Times

So I ran into one of my old class mates from Grant Macewan today on the bus. It seems really wierd that I am still going to school and yet half of my class mates are not anymore. But I am okay with it. Although this week, I have been stressing because I have mid terms. And sometimes I wonder why I don't just forget it and go with my Rehab. and that is it. Arrrggg sometimes life choices are always so frusterating. Although I do not think I could leave this school I have made to many friends. But sometimes, I think " do they like me, or not" and it is really wierd cause I should not think that at all. I know they like me, cause if they did not, then I would not be hanging with them would I? Oh well. It was just wierd to know that I did go to school before Concordia, although Grant Macewan seems so far away!!

Do not worry about tomorrow!

long time

It has been a long time since I have written. Things are going good. I am working hard at school Trying really hard to do everything that I can to suceed. And I am having fun doing it. I am also ready to start some new things. do not know what yet but something new. I have made a number of friends at school, and I must admit I love them all. I can not believe that this term is almost over though. I have to find some more money so that I can come back. Ahh this is nuts. Well nothing is new so Have a great day and keep smiling!