So I am at work for my dad right now. I am supposed to be writing an essay, but you know how it is when all of sudden you can not write about anything. I hate when that happens. I mean I have alot of things to say, but really I can not write them down on paper at all. I hate it.
Sometimes I want to be with my friends twenty four seven. It scares me when things happen and I can not be with them. I hate it lots. Especially when they are having a hard time with something.
I am glad I was on line and then I could talk to this friend for an like an hour on the phone. I think it helped them a little bit. I am not good at advice though, and my approach is to make people laugh when they are feeling down, and to listen. Hopefully I did both of that. I mean my friend is a great person and I hate it when they are hurting. I hope everything works out for them, I just have to keep praying. And being there to hold them up if they need me too. Sometimes I do not mind doing that. I hate it when peoples are unhappy. Its times like this when all I need to do is be there, and to throw all of my worries out the window. I mean I know that sometimes I need to talk, but when they need it, I will try to stop.
Thats another thing I worry about all the time, I mean I try really hard not to do it, but sometimes I feel like all I can talk about is me. Me me me. And I know it is a pet peeve when other people do it, but then I do something I hate. I wish that sometimes someone would just say, "Alyson Shut up! I need you to listen to me right now." Then I so would do it. I mean it is not that bad. I would listen. I just need some help I think with that. It drives me up the wall.
Or when I am being silly. It is like at school people like it, they do not think anything of it. I hope! BUt as soon as I get to friends from home, it is almost like I have to be a totally different person. Except with Ashley and Debra. and Tyson and Sue, but everyone else. IT is like a bad thing if I am a little crazy. Hello it is me. Sometimes I can be quiet sometimes I can be "normal" but what is normal for me. I mean do I really have to pretend. I know that sometimes I am pretending whenI am being silly, but that is cause I do not want to face the facts. But most of the time I do not even do that. It is a stress reliever. And we all know i need that sometimes. Anyway why can't I just be me! I ask this. Does me bother you!
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3 comments:
Alyson, I think we all know that you are one of the best people to have as a friend. You always have a smile on your face, and always know the perfect way to cheer another up. And you are perfectly "normal"(what ever that word actually means). Everyone is different between their friends and family. I don't believe either way is pretending, just a different side of you is shown to different people depending on what they are looking for in you. Parents are looking for this well mannered individual that they raised, and friends are just looking for someone to laugh and be silly with. SO I think your amazing hun, and don't you forget it!!!
PS. though this is supposed to be anonymous... It's Kay.
Thanks babe, you make me smile!
Hey this is Amber here. (I'm too lazy to make a profile for myself here, since I already have one at xanga). I know this is a few days late but whatev.
I'm really really really glad you were online that day, you have no idea. As soon as I came home that morning all I felt like doing was curling up into a ball and crying, and I really wanted someone to talk to. And then you were there, and I talked to you and it helped me so much!
Things are so much better now. Sometimes when we are in the middle of something that we don't understand, and it hurts so much we ask God why is this happening, and its scary because we can't see whats going to happen. God showed me to trust him this weekend, and he reminded me that I have wonderful friends like you.
God bless you, Alyson, you are such a wonderful person and I love you!
Amber
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