so... I wrote this

This is for my creativity project. We have to do something creative so I whipped this up.

Sometimes I feel like I can not breath and I get all uptight. And I don’t know what to do. And then, I picture myself, floating. Floating on a cloud of soft white fluff. Everything goes away, and I just float there. My troubles are gone. My worries have evaporated. And then BAMM He walks in. And all of a sudden I am falling, falling so fast and I can not stop. It’s cause I get uptight all over again. But this time for different reasons, I don’t know what to say to him. I get all tongue tied. I think to my self “Does he know, and if he does, does he care?” And if he does not care Why not? What is wrong with me? I look at him slowly, and all of a sudden he speaks. “Hey, have you seen Jane? I want to ask her to the game with me” Outside, I slowly shake my head no, but inside I crumble. He leaves and I strive to find my cloud again.

I am running away and other things

I am running away on Thursday to the mountains with my B.F.F! I am so excited to just spend some time with her and laugh, and talk, and be surrounded by the wonder of God's amazing mountains!






In other news the funeral was a good one. If ever you can have good funerals. It was a celebration of her life, as small as it was. There were a lot of kids from work there, and after the funeral T. and I spent some time with them. It is hard to see them suffer, especially knowing that they lost one of their best friends.

I asked my mom the other day if it ever gets easier, she said no. And you know I am kind of glad it doesn't. That way I can stay human. (does that sound right) Anyway. I did not cry until T. started talking about camp and memories. But then I was strong for the kids. You know how it is.

I will miss that wonderful young lady, her red button, her bright pink feather boa and her joy for singing. Camp will not be the same with out her!

Happy Valentines day!

So today is Valentines day... Or as I like to call it "Singles Awareness Day!" Anyway this post is not deticated to a rant. (although...) But instead I wanted to share something I heard, something that is true. Did you know what we all have a valentine, wheither we are single or not? Yep, I am thinking about Jesus. I mean He gave the ultimite gift. He loved us SOOO much that He died for us. I know that valentines day is so that we can show those we love how much we love them. Thats why Jesus gave us this increadable gift, so we can live in him. It is so much better then flowers and candy, and all the other stuff you can get for valentines day. So today, when you are thinking about what to give your valentine, to show them how much you love them, Stop and think about the ultimate valentine present, and Praise God! Give Him the present of Praise and Worship.

How deep the Father’s love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the Chosen One

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Wow its coming soon

AHHHHH!!!! I only have a month till my capstone, hopefully I will graduate! Panic dance panic dance.

Oh and Midterms....... can I hear a little AAAARRRRGGGGGGG!!! Reading week please come SOON!!!

What a day

February 4th. So many memories have been flooding my brain today, and I have tried to preoccupy my head so that I can get through the day, maybe so that I don't have to remember. If I was a little out of whack today i am sorry. I just can't stop thinking, remembering. I know others were thinking too, how can you not? It's just one of those days, but life goes on. And God is there by my side. But why do memories have to hurt so much, even if they were good once before?
If you are reading this, hopefully you got through the day, I'm praying that God is giving you the strength you need day by day.

I'm Sorry