I have to say this. So many people have asked how I was, and I have answered that I am fine. But define fine. I think I have been working myself silly. No working myself to distraction. I have to say that my friends have been awesome, phoning just to see how I am doing, or to do something. I really appreciate that.
But today, wow today was a hard one. Sitting in church. Then it hit me. But not in the way that I would have thought. I kept thinking how they were doing. Kept praying that they were okay. That the sun is starting to come up for them. That they could handle all of the glances and the sad faces. The questions, and what answers to give. No I am not mad at them. No it was no ones fault, it just did not work. Yes I am doing okay.
I think my biggest comfort right now is that God is on my side. That he loves me and everyone else involved. He is my biggest comfort. I know we can do this, and that one day the sun will shine for both of us. And it is my deepest and most heartfelt prayer that he is okay, and that God wraps His arms around him and gives him all the comfort he needs. And that he goes on with life, because it will get easier, God will see to that, he never sticks anything on our plates that we can not handle. (he taught me that) I will be praying.