Whats Going on

Where am I?
Am I loosing myself?
Am I really me?
People dont know what is going on anymore
I do not see those I really love.
Is it something I said?
Or something I did?
Why are we drifting apart?
Its tearing at my heart!
I just want to see your smile
to hear you laugh
To hold you when your sad.
I dont want, "I forgots"
Or "I already said"
Maybe I am holding on to the past
maybe I have to let it go.
But I dont want to do that
I dont want to go there
I just want you here
beside me again!

Another Christmas Over

Well, one Christmas dinner down and one to go! I can not believe that Christmas is over already and next week at this time it will be January 2 2006! Where does the time go? Christmas was wierd this year. I mean church and stuff made it seem like Christmas, although we did not sing Er-re Zig God (dutch song, old Tradition) AGAIN! I feel we are loosing our roots sometimes and where we all came from. But that is a whole new post and right now I dont want to get into it. But after Church in the afternoon, i went to sleep and did not wake up till 7:00pm and then ate some left over ham and cheese and stuff, then went and worked on stuff for my parents anniversary. I would love to tell you what it is, but I can not because because they do not know yet. Bwah ha ha!

So yeah, it was wierd yesterday, but today I am looking forward to seeing all of my cousins and hanging out with them. And then tomorrow I get to hang with my parents. I just wish that this feeling of I dont know sadness, or some other inexplainable feeling would go away so I could enjoy myself more. But I know that I will.

But anyway Have a wonderful rest of the week! Enjoy life and smile, remembering that it is because of God that you will be blessed with a new year!

I should be making Banana bread

Hello wonderful people that read my blog! An almost merry christmas to you! did you know that I have been bloging for like a year and a half now. How fun is that. And completly irrelivent to anything. Anyway.. School is over for the semester!!! I am so happy I could cry. And you know, as much as I love my friends, I really dont think that I will miss them as much as I did last year during the break. Call me crazy, but I really dont think i will. I think I can say that because I know that I will be seeing Leah sometime... I better, I can't see LWW without her. (lion witch and wardrobe) and if she has seen it already, I will cry! (I really will!) Anyway.
I am now only working one job, the one with my boys. I was working another one, but due to some things I am no longer there. (I will tell you if you want to know, but probably on a personal level) Anyway I am happy about that.
On Thursday I went to my boy's christmas concert. (I say my boy cause I work with him Alot!) we will call him K! Anyway K made me so proud, and i am not even his mother. YES!
I work with K all next week, and then when he is on holidays, i get to work with someone I have nto worked with in a long time. But still have my evenings off. Hint hint to those that want to hang!
Yesterday i went to the Messiah with my family! WOW! I was blown away. okay so I have heard good singing before, but really this was fantastic. And the coolest thing was I did nto move. My mom was bugging me because normally i fidget. I do, its true if you knwo me you would agree. Anyway I did not move until intermission, and then again until we had to stand for the Halleluiah chorus. It was so awesome. And I saw some of my friends that was awesome too.

But I should be making banana bread because mom asked me too. Have a great wonderful night

Yeah baby Yeah

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The pre Christmas Dinner

So I never actually posted one of the best days/nights that I have had in a long time. The wonderful day happened on the 26th of November. Well actually it started on the 25th. So Friday I go to my singing class, and then swimming I go. Only it was bring your parents to the pool so Scott and Kels brought mom and dad Gamble, and Charlotte brought Mom Mackin. It was glorious fun. After some serious basket ball, Scott and i went into the steam room, where we were given the treat of listening to like 5 diggaridoes in the steam room. They say the sound comes better with the steam. Anyway it was awesome.

So Sat. Comes around and well we have 14 people over for dinner. Now this was a wonderful dinner because the students of concordia made it, with mom and dad Gamble. First we all split off in teams, ( i was team desert with Lauren and Chris) and then we went shopping. Well after that it was making our food. Giggle Chris and Lauren can sure fork chocolate cake. (we made an all chocolate triffle! YUMMY) So then we went and made fancy decorations down stairs. But first I had to fight off Eric cause he was trying to steal our triffle.(see above picture!) Its true he was, and before the picture I was winning, and I would like to say, I did end up winning anyway! It was grand.

After that I went to go see Filumena the Opera!! OH SO GOOD! I was just captivated and sat on the edge of my seat during the first act. I had tears running down my face and i was just amazed. It was brillant, and I can not wait till the next opera comes in Febuary. Yeah!! So that was my wonderful days of days. And I will have to write about my week, because monday is Micheal W Smith, Tuesday is Caroling and hot chocolate at the presidents, and Wednesday is roller skating! YEAH!!! and then friday exams start. AHHH.

Anyway Have fun!

Smile

Have a great day

my life as we know it

So I have not written in a long time. Well thats fun! So I thought I would write so that you all know what is going on with my life at this wonderful moment. Yesterday was Developmental Disabilities awarement day. (basicly making people aware of different disabilities.) I celebrated!

So what has been going on in my life. Well I have been really busy because I have exams soon and papers to finish. (in fact i am supposed to be writing one right now, but I am taking a break.) I am doing really well in all of my classes and hopefully my exams dont make it seem as if i am doing bad. :) They will not. Speaking of exams... I have my drama final on monday. Now normally I would be all excited about this, but this time I am not really. I am just praying that it will work. I know that there has been some hard work put into it and for that I am forever thankful, but this has been the hardest group project I have ever done. Now dont get me wrong I love most of my fellow actors, and feel as if they are doing a wonderful job. ( you know who you are) There are just some that are not doing what they should be doing, and it is ruining the group dynamic. But you know sometimes that happens so we will just have to deal with it.

Yesterday I spent the evening with my best friend. I loved it, we went out for dinner to Red Robbins (YUMMY) and then went to go see a movie. AeonFLUX. It was so good. I enjoyed most of it, but there is one gross part with lots of blood and I dont like that, but Shley saved me, and told me when I could look again. It was kinda gross, she said my face just went white. Giggle I love me and blood. So then after that we went to Death by Chocolate. Oh boy did I almost die! It took us like 15 minutes to deside what we were going to eat. And when we finally did, WOW! I think I have to take Laura there one day... Or anyone else who wanted to come. Shley and I said that if ever, the Lord willing, we get married, we will have our bridal party there. (or take our bridesmaid there) And we both decided that it would be the best place to take someone on a date. I mean what girl can resist having a boy buy chocolate for them. And the setting is quiet and wonderful for the first time dates. (And dont worry Matt, there are no salt and pepper shakers to knock over) Oh it was SOOOOO good. And the company wasn't bad either.in fact the company was wonderful and probably the best that I have had in a long time. No offence other wonderful friends, but she is my bestest friend in the world and I missed her!

Well now that that was over I went over to another friends house for their engagment party. While there I saw some people I have not seen for a long time. That was nice. So anyway here is a funny story and i now have the wonderful bruises to prove it. So there were streamers up, they were pretty high, I think around 6'6" because they went up to Robs nose, and he had 3 more inches to go. Anyway they were trying to kick them. Jeff could cause he is 6'4" but Katherine and I tried. Well Katherine missed, but then it was my turn. So I get ready and I Kick really high. Remember I am only 5'7" so that is a long way up. I did not think I could make it. Anyway so I do. (thank you thank you) But I think the only reason I hit it was because i was in the air. I forgot to mention, the streamers were in the kitchen, the kitchen floor is slippery, and I was wearing socks. So after doing my wonderful beautiful kick, I fly up into the air, and wait for it, no i do not fall on my butt, that would have been better. I fall on my side. Yes my side. Because I was doing a side kick. Oh it was so funny, but now, well now I have a bruise that is huge. I would love to show it off, but I will not cause it is in a place where I will not be showing anyone. (Upper thigh) Anyway It was funny, we all laughed, and they told me to stop drinking. Funny thing was, I hadn't had anything to drink since 9:00 and that was water. ( i think it was tiredness or something) But I told them i was thankful I was not getting married cause then they would all remember it for my wedding and tell the story. AHH!

So now today i am sitting at home doing papers, I might attempt to clean my room, and help my mom unpack grocieries when she comes home. And then do stuff with the church tonight. Then on monday i am going to Micheal W Smith!!!!!!!! YES! I am so excited. Well have a great day.

<><

As of Now

Winter Formal



So right now I am supposed to be writing a paper that is due tomorrow. I really do not like my drama presentation, and I know that there are others that feel this way. Maybe we can fix it. And I have my mind on other things.

You would be proud of me friends, especially the ones that saw me yesterday, I went to bed at 9:00pm and did not wake up till 9:00 the next morning. I needed it though. And I did end up going to visit a friend who is in the hospital.

So they still do not know what is wrong with her. AAARRRRGGGG!! I wish I could be like, you have ............ (thats a blank) and be done with it. Yesterday Michelle told her she had hoof in mouth. Cause that is SO likely! (giggle it was to make her laugh and it did.) We did alot of God talk, it kinda made some people uncomfortable, but whatever they have to deal. Please pray for her, her family and the doctors into finding out what is going on. Just send up a request for Alysons friend, He will know who you are talking about.

On a different note, I can not believe school is going so well, fast. I almost want to have another week to get everything done. I hate this! But what can you do.

Oh winter formal was so much fun, and I love how everyone looked. well yeah its true. depends on where the picture is. That is me in Winter formal with my friend Kaylyn! we look fine. Anyway I should go and write my paper, get tickets for the opera, and try to like my drama final...

I did it

Well, I put my foot out there, and i applied for CMU today. Wow, so next year I might be in Winnipeg. AHHH! pray for me

My Inner Child

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing. You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes. And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad. You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Cause everyone is doing it!

I took this from Alisons blog. Have fun I can not wait.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me.
It can be anything you want, either good or bad. I promise not to come after you with a HIGH-HEELED SHOE(?????) either way.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your LJ/blog/MSN space/myspace/etc and be suprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Stole it from Isaiah

I stole this from Isaiah and was bored so I did it. Hope you learn something
Name: Alyson
Birthday: April 9 1984
Birthplace: Edmonton Alberta
Current Location: St. Albert Alberta
Eye Color: Green/brown
Hair Color: right now Chestnut
Height: 5'7"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right and left. It depends on what i am doing
Your Heritage: DUTCH!
The Shoes You Wore Today: Shoes, I have not worn any today, I have worn slippers though
Your Weakness: Not being able to say NO
Your Fears: Not going where I want to go, I have this strange fear of blood. And being alone my whole life.
Your Perfect Pizza: a yummy one that is not cold. Probably with chicken on it
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: get A's in my classes, get accepted to the colleges I want for my Music Therapy. Work hard and be loved.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: giggle
Thoughts First Waking Up: "5:45, I wonder if Henry is waking up this morning?"
Your Best Physical Feature: My smile
Your Bedtime: 11:00 pm unless otherwise planned
Your Most Missed Memory: Talking to my Omas and Opas. (either side! I have good memories from both!)
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: Macdonalds
Single or Group Dates:Depends on were you are in the relationship.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: I like toffe coffee
Do you Smoke: Do I want to die?
Do you Swear: sometimes things like Son of a Moose come out of my mouth
Do you Sing: Yes indeed, it is like second nature to me
Do you Shower Daily: Yes
Have you Been in Love: I have been in very strong like
Do you want to go to College: well been there, now I am in University college, and back to college after this, so I would say Yes
Do you want to get Married: Do Sparrows fly?
Do you belive in yourself: Some times
Do you get Motion Sickness: On airplanes sometimes, and a boat once
Do you think you are Attractive: maybe my face
Are you a Health Freak:not really, although I do like fruit and veggies
Do you get along with your Parents: Yep.
Do you like Thunderstorms: honestly...no Unless someone is with me
Do you play an Instrument: I play two and I sing
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked:Nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Buckleys and Asprin
In the past month have you gone on a Date: a friend date
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yep Sat.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:I dont like raw fish
In the past month have you been on Stage: YES!!! Go Diviners
In the past month have you been Dumped: No.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Nope
Ever been Drunk: Not to my knowledge :)
Ever been called a Tease: Probably.
Ever been Beaten up: Well if you call Dave tackling me cause I had his hat on beating up,then ges
Ever Shoplifted: Nope.
How do you want to Die: of old age.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A ninja, and a clown, and a music therapist, and a mom, and a clown and a wife, and a clown.. wait did I mention I wanted to be a clown.
What country would you most like to Visit: hmm well I would love to go to Africa, and maybe somewere like China (cause i have always wanted to be there to!) Then back to Europe, and maybe somewere fun like Australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue
Favourite Hair Color: doesnt matter I like any colour although, I have always been partial to brown
Short or Long Hair: short, well no longer then just past the ears
Height: taller then me
Weight: ...?? How should I know? Who cares?
Best Clothing Style: fun and not to expensive looking
Number of Drugs I have taken: I am confused. Maybe I should stop taking all these drugs
Number of CDs I own: I own like 50
Number of Piercings: four two in each ear
Number of Tattoos: none right now
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Too many to count, but Jesus forgets those things, so I shouldn't try and hold them against myself. (this is Isaiahs answer but I agree, therefore I am also using it. Thanks Isaiah!)

its poem time

They have a friendship

A bond no one can break

She thinks of him as her best friend

And she is happy that he has found someone to love

She is so very happy

But deep inside her, she has fallen.

Not because of sadness

But because of uncertainness

She does not want to hurt again.

It happened once before

A long time ago

When things were going so well

So fun and so free,

And then the two became three.

And it faded,

It ended

Never to be the same again.

So here she is a second time

Praying it does not happen.

Knowing it probably will not

But still she is so very scared!

She doesn’t know how to act,

Whether she should step back and watch it happen

Of if she should carry on the same way.

She knows what way is the best way,

What way is the right way,

But she is scared of hurting

Scared of loosing this friendship

So she feels the need to step back

And not say anything

but that is the wrong way.

She thanks the Lord that he is happy

That he is able to love.

Maybe it is just her being selfish,

Not wanting to share,

Not wanting to be hung out to dry again.

She feels he will not change

But the question

Will he?

Still stays in her head.

If she has to let go she will

If she has to say goodbye she will

but then,

Who will hold her hand?

Who will hold her close?

Who will she go to when she has to talk?

When she has to pray.

She does not want to let go

She does not want to say goodbye.

She wants to say hello,

I need your hand and arms right now.

I need you thoughtful words

And I need the prayers to God.

She prays to God, for this friendship

And she leaves it in HIS care.

That day by day it strengthens

And she never has to fear.

Alyson Bosch 2005

A wonderful photo

Here is the cast and crew of the Diviners, I am the one in the red shirt!

Concordias play

WOW! Concordia does some good stuff! I just wanted to say, this week is the week of the Diviners, and I am so happy that I am part of the crew. In fact my name is even in the program yep thats right it totally is! And I love the other crew members, from our Rocken Stage Manager!and the assistant stage managers (woot woot!R+M+A I HEART YOU!) to our lights people (your hot!) to our amazing cast. If anyone has a free moment before Sat. come come and see this play. It is so good, and so sad, but so good! I do not want to give it away, but I do want to say that alot of the people that have come to this have walked away with tears in their eyes and saying it was an amazing and touching play. So come one come all!! If you want to come but dont know how to get there, come talk to me! I will let you know...

My monologue

I thought I would post my monologue up that I have to do either the 14tho or the 16th! I hope people can come and watch them... I will have to ask Caroline... Anyway so if you are in my class and you read this (JUSTIN) please dont tell the rest of the class. But anyway they will have to see how I act it out. Peace, ( I hope you have tissues!)

Phone Rings: “Hello, oh hello Dr. Jones, yes this is Amy, okay, are you sure, wow that um, okay, yes, are you sure? Positive? Okay thank you, bye Puts phone down and grabs picture of the two of them, not saying anything for like 10 seconds, brush a tear off face and sit down still holding the picture.

“Oh Jeremiah, that was the doctor, what am I going to do? I wish you were here right now. I can’t do this on my own!! Why did I make you go and pick up milk, why! You should have come right home, and then you could have been here with me, instead of, well instead of gone. It’s all my fault! I know it is, and I can’t do this, I can’t. I never thought that I would have to say good bye so soon. Yesterday I picked up the guitar Jeremiah, I did! And you would be proud of me I played a song….. It was good, well as good as can be expected. And yesterday I went through the photo albums. It’s hard to see your face baby, and know that I can not just reach out and touch it. It’s hard!! And Mom and dad invited me to the beach…Our beach; I went, but had to leave!! This is not right! I NEED YOU HERE! Especially now, how am I going to get through these next nine months, no these next 60 years without you. My comfort is that now, now I will have you with me always, and every time I look at our little one, I will remember. I love you baby, you would have made a great father!

Yummy Candy

Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

Very popular, one of you is not enough.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

A day in the life

So today I did not go to school until 4:00. It felt wonderful to sit at home and do some work, and then go to school and sing. It was good, got to hang with Scott before choir, and we hung up some posters. But after today I have realized that I can not speak english and I can not tape. I was almost cut from the poster hanging, but that would have been horrible and then Scott would have had to do it on his own. Although i am sure he could have gotten someone to help him... Nah! ( I would like to clarify, he was the one that asked me to help him hang them up!)

Anyway moving on with the day. So my teacher wants me to direct or choir. I have done it before but today I felt really inadiqute. It was sad, maybe it was because looking at some of the people I could tell they were only there because they were getting credit for it. That always makes me mad when they are only doing things like this for credit. Oh well! It is not my problem they do not want to be there.

I have been reading some of the other poems that people in my school write and put in the paper. Its true I have also had some poems in the school paper, but reading other peoples, I feel as if I can not write. I hate that feeling because I love to write, but then I read these and I am like, I can not write like that, so I get into a writing block. GRRRR!!

So last week some things that I put away on the shelf of Alyson came back to bite me in the butt. I hate that but I actually delt with them this time instead of putting them away. I am happy with the way school is turning out. I have been working hard and I feel that it is showing. i am working hard on things outside of credit stuff too. The other day the film festival stuff got mailed out, and now I have to do some stuff for it and chapel so that we can get that flying off the ground and the Concordia play is next week. Therefore I will be busy and not home from Tuesday night to Sat. Night!! i am so excited but know that I am going to burnt out. How fun is that!!!

Speaking of chapel, I wrote my little insperation thing for the 18th today. i know I should have been doing my speech for friday, but that is not working and I know I will have that done later. But I really am proud of my insperation thing. I only think I like it because it is about warm fuzzies. I told Muffin today that that is what it was on, and he just rolled his eyes. I think it is good, but I will probably change some of it later on, seeing as how I have a little bit of time yet. It will be good I am thinking and I am proud of it. When I type it out i will post it so that you can read it although I am probably wing most of it, but that is okay, you cna still be able to see the basis. I can not wait.

Anyway that is the day in the life of me. I hope that every other day is just as exciting and I will write a wonderful review of the Deviners sometime next week so that you can know how it is going or how it went. Anyway May your day be wonderful and in the words of Montiverdi, Live Happily!

umm, so this is my crayon, Just like Leah!

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

giggle

You Are a Mai Tai

You aren't a big drinker, but you'll drink if the atmosphere is festive. And when you're drunk, watch out! You're easily carried away.

What Mixed Drink Are You?